You’ve been warned.

PORTLAND, OR — Health experts have today warned that meth found on the streets of Portland has tested positive for gluten, a protein composite normally found in several types of grains, including wheat, spelt, rye, and barley.

Action on Gluten has been set up to help meth users avoid “hidden gluten”, and to get drug dealers to offer a much safer gluten free meth for the tweaker communities of Oregon.

The organization believes they can successfully eliminate gluten from meth completely within a year, ensuring a much cleaner form of crystal and a brighter future for children who love meth.

Action on Gluten spokesperson Simon Krueger explained, “Gluten is not only dangerous, but also highly addictive. When added to meth, an otherwise fairly safe drug, the consequences can be deadly.”