My column for the Washington County Daily News is online and in print. I probably had too much fun writing it. Here’s a part:

As the final light bleeds out of 2023 and we await the new year, the thought of writing about a contentious political issue is repugnant to me. Instead, let us take a brief departure from our usual conversation and muse about the medium in which we converse.

 

As an incurable bibliophile, I am also, naturally, a logophile. Our language, whether written or spoken, is central to the human condition and culture. Without language, communication between humans is rudimentary. It is through our language that we communicate complex ideas and emotions. It is through our written language that we accumulate and preserve the knowledge of humanity so that that knowledge can be expanded upon by future generations. Language is the bedrock of philosophy, science, religion, culture, business, entertainment, and our entire social construct.

 

To know language is to understand a culture. Anyone who has learned a new language knows that it cannot be truly learned without understanding the culture that generated it. Language is replete with nuance and subtleties that are manifestations of how the language evolved. That is why some languages have words that others do not. The language is a reflection of, and creator of, the culture.

 

Language is full of nuance that is often transitory to the time in which it exists. Language evolves with the culture and new concepts come to the fore and others are abandoned to history. One of the reasons that I love to read old books is because it is reading parallel stories — the story that is the subject of the text and the story told in the language of the time in which it was written.

 

I find joy in reading or hearing a word that our common language has orphaned. Don’t tell my editor, but I have written entire columns for the singular purpose of having an excuse to use a rediscovered word. Sometimes a word perfectly captures the concept that one is trying to convey.

 

For example, this Christmas season, I have too often felt “crapulous.” Why weigh down a sentence explaining that I feel crummy because I ate too much when I could just say I feel crapulous? It is a perfectly descriptive word for the feeling being expressed.

 

As one who closely follows the actions of politicians, I witness far too many snollygosters and cockalorums who are too rigid in their old mumpsimus. I wish it were not so, but politics is often a rhetorical brabble. Our politics have been infected with a high degree of proditomania, but thankfully we have evolved away from settling disputes with a holmgang.

 

New words are entering our lexicon all the time. Some of them flare for a few years while others cement themselves into everyday use. “Hangry” perfectly describes a state of irrational anger driven by hunger, although it is curious that it evolved at a time of unbelievable historical affluence when real hunger is utterly foreign to most Americans. We get “MacGyver” as a verb from the television show and “padawan” from the Star Wars franchise.

 

The world of technology brings us the NPC (non-player character) as a pejorative and something worth sharing is grammable. While quiet quitting is something that remote work on a mass scale has enabled, it might also be caused by doomscrolling. It is also very common during March Madness as people spend their time engaged in bracketology.

 

Still, while I enjoy the evolution of our common language and appreciate its dynamism, this Christmas season affronted me with a development that I cannot abide. The ubiquitous use of the word “gift” is unconscionable. One did not “gift” something to someone. They “gave” to them. One was not “gifted” something. One was “given” it. “Gift” is the noun. In very rare and specific situations, “gift” can be a transitive verb. “Give” is the verb. “Given” is the adjective. There is no need to use “gift” in all circumstances related to the free transfer of goods or services. We already have appropriate words for all scenarios. Please use them appropriately.

 

Happy new year, everyone. May the new year bring you all joy and peace.